Eurovision 2006!

Kalimera!

Time to jumpstart our blog again, it's been too long...

Did anyone see the Eurovision song contest? (what other topic to regenerate interest?)

Athens... the Edinburgh of the South, location of the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest. Did anyone actually see the competition?

I missed it this year, but the result (as always) was predictable from the very beginning.

As always happens, the emerging nations of the former Soviet bloc will dominate the contest by the simple ploy of voting for each other (as was their enforced habit while festering under the Kremlin's wise guidance). I'll be completely amazed if Belarus gives anything other than full marks to Russia; the Big Bear asleep on their doorstep.

The jolly exchange of full marks between Cyprus and Greece is as old as the Odyssey. Germany will award points to Poland, but don't expect it to be a reciprocal exchange. Germany will get the usual votes from Turkey, because the Turkish "gastarbeitern" in Germany will have monopolised the telephones and awarded top marks to their homeland?

As happens most years, nobody will vote for the Brits. As happens every year, the UK will pretend they think it's all a bit of nonsense and wouldn't want to win anyway. The UK can be relied on to award full marks to Ireland, I'll eat the Blarney Stone if Ireland ever gives anything to the Brits!

The Scandinavians will vote for each other, Iceland and Denmark will cement their ancient ties, and Sweden will reward Norway handsomely (though the Norwegians never vote for the Swedes!).

Aside from the actual groups, the presenters are even more amusing. It's always good fun to watch them flirt heavily (and possibly sing to each other), in the manner of the unforgettable Estonian presenters who, six inches apart, bellowed into each other's faces. She was an opera singer, and he a leading Shakespearean actor who also played the accordion in a folk band. There's much to mock, but who couldn't fall in love with it?

Where other than Eurovision would you expect to see Germans in Stetsons and Finns like a cross between Klingons and Orcs and Icelanders phoning God? What about Latvians a capella, all with choreography straight out of the Sixties, bongos, banjos, musical saws... oh what fun!