Peace and goodwill to all, except for...
Dear all,
In case I don't get to post until after the holidays... HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance!!
Yes, sorry I've been so quiet but it's been busy for me over Christmas. I've had Tim D and we've been having a great time painting Gothenburg red this past week. The moment he arrived I cracked open that one litre bottle of Zebrowka (which I'd been saving for such an occasion), and would you believe, we polished it off entirely (perhaps not the best idea in hindsight... at least not in one of my best shirts!). Needless to say, it all went downhill from that moment on...
Now that the Christmas hangover has subsided, it's time to prepare for the NEW YEAR'S EVE drinking session! I always love New Years (the added advantage of being able to double it with a birthday celebration), and when thinking of New Years Day, that leads me to automatically think about New Years Resolutions...
There was a wise man (one much wiser than I) who once said it took 42 muscles to frown and only four to pull the trigger of a sniper rifle. How profound. Therefore, with that in mind I've decided to write a new years list, as I usually do at this time of year. But this time, an exception. Instead of writing an in-depth list of new years resolutions (promises I make which nearly always get broken after the first week... leading to angry stares from the women in my life), I'm writing a list containing a select few things in 2005 which really had my trigger finger itching. Here's praying we can get through 2006 without the following:
1. I'm SICK of all the self-help literature sent hurtling towards consumers over the last year. Therefore, my first peeve shall be directed at any individual who is going on a "journey". This should include a long journey, an emotional journey, a rewarding journey and especially an amazing journey. I advocate anyone going on a journey should have their destination re-routed off the nearest high cliff!
2. Paris Hilton, her gormless boyfriends, her shrivelled dog or her pet monkey. Yes, all young bucks like a rich, young tart... but let's enjoy her for what she is and NOT install her in a position of power an influence. She now intends to focus on her film career in 2006... well, it takes more than a boyfriend with a cam and an imagination to launch a successful film career! Generally speaking, if you're dressed like you're going to fight for the working rights to the local street corner you're not role model material.
3. Hearing Tom Cruise's advice on childbirth. Now God's former gift to women is an expert authority on the matter. Well, let me tell you this much Tommie mate, I've also been "a pregnant father" and I'd strongly recommend any man or woman soon to be a parent to disregard nearly everything you've said on the matter. In fact, hearing anything about Tom Cruise - except that he's died after falling off furniture while cavorting around like a chimp on crack. I wouldn't mind hearing that.
4. Any TV show in which the script relies heavily on the word "evict".
5. Children's books written by celebrities on the grounds that they once actually saw a child who had accidentally wandered into business class (Madonna, this means you)
6. Books which have the word "dark" in the title, or the name "Dan" on the front cover.
7. Designer dogs with breed names that rhyme with "strudel".
8. Offspring of the rich and famous whose names are destined to send them into early therapy. As in: "Cinnamon! You've left the #*@* door open and the #*@!# paparazzi have got in again."
9. The French.
10. Any American in a shiny suit pretending that intelligent design isn't just a rebandaged version of creationism.
11. The word "rebadged".
12. TV commercials featuring singing animals, usually zebras, who are incapable of rhyming "indeedy" with anything better than "seedy".
13. Systembolaget.
And that's about it. Once again, happy new year to all of you and all the best for 2006!!
In case I don't get to post until after the holidays... HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance!!
Yes, sorry I've been so quiet but it's been busy for me over Christmas. I've had Tim D and we've been having a great time painting Gothenburg red this past week. The moment he arrived I cracked open that one litre bottle of Zebrowka (which I'd been saving for such an occasion), and would you believe, we polished it off entirely (perhaps not the best idea in hindsight... at least not in one of my best shirts!). Needless to say, it all went downhill from that moment on...
Now that the Christmas hangover has subsided, it's time to prepare for the NEW YEAR'S EVE drinking session! I always love New Years (the added advantage of being able to double it with a birthday celebration), and when thinking of New Years Day, that leads me to automatically think about New Years Resolutions...
There was a wise man (one much wiser than I) who once said it took 42 muscles to frown and only four to pull the trigger of a sniper rifle. How profound. Therefore, with that in mind I've decided to write a new years list, as I usually do at this time of year. But this time, an exception. Instead of writing an in-depth list of new years resolutions (promises I make which nearly always get broken after the first week... leading to angry stares from the women in my life), I'm writing a list containing a select few things in 2005 which really had my trigger finger itching. Here's praying we can get through 2006 without the following:
1. I'm SICK of all the self-help literature sent hurtling towards consumers over the last year. Therefore, my first peeve shall be directed at any individual who is going on a "journey". This should include a long journey, an emotional journey, a rewarding journey and especially an amazing journey. I advocate anyone going on a journey should have their destination re-routed off the nearest high cliff!
2. Paris Hilton, her gormless boyfriends, her shrivelled dog or her pet monkey. Yes, all young bucks like a rich, young tart... but let's enjoy her for what she is and NOT install her in a position of power an influence. She now intends to focus on her film career in 2006... well, it takes more than a boyfriend with a cam and an imagination to launch a successful film career! Generally speaking, if you're dressed like you're going to fight for the working rights to the local street corner you're not role model material.
3. Hearing Tom Cruise's advice on childbirth. Now God's former gift to women is an expert authority on the matter. Well, let me tell you this much Tommie mate, I've also been "a pregnant father" and I'd strongly recommend any man or woman soon to be a parent to disregard nearly everything you've said on the matter. In fact, hearing anything about Tom Cruise - except that he's died after falling off furniture while cavorting around like a chimp on crack. I wouldn't mind hearing that.
4. Any TV show in which the script relies heavily on the word "evict".
5. Children's books written by celebrities on the grounds that they once actually saw a child who had accidentally wandered into business class (Madonna, this means you)
6. Books which have the word "dark" in the title, or the name "Dan" on the front cover.
7. Designer dogs with breed names that rhyme with "strudel".
8. Offspring of the rich and famous whose names are destined to send them into early therapy. As in: "Cinnamon! You've left the #*@* door open and the #*@!# paparazzi have got in again."
9. The French.
10. Any American in a shiny suit pretending that intelligent design isn't just a rebandaged version of creationism.
11. The word "rebadged".
12. TV commercials featuring singing animals, usually zebras, who are incapable of rhyming "indeedy" with anything better than "seedy".
13. Systembolaget.
And that's about it. Once again, happy new year to all of you and all the best for 2006!!
posted by Garth at 12/30/2005 01:16:00 AM
2 Comments:
Every once in a while I stumble across some interesting blog posts. Yours is in that category.
I have a women's sheepskin slippers
website. It is a complete women's sheepskin slippers
resource.
Have a nice day.
LOL! I'm leaving my sign under your list, mate. I'd also add twin politicians - the new president of Poland is a manace himself. But he has a twinbrother, a leader of his party. Manaces walk double...
Let's hope there'll be a lot of more interesting things to discuss in 2006 than politics. Happy New Year!
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